Doctor, Doctor
by YoungestCullen8
Summary: Summary Spoiler Alert! Jim has just fought Khan and given the eulogy at Pike's funeral. He's having hard time dealing with everything so he runs to Iowa where he camps out with a friend until he has to leave. Then his friend is ordered to the Enterprise to watch over captain and crew after their ordeal. Sequel to the Doctor's Task.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's** **Note**: I just saw the new Star Trek movie and I got to say I really liked it. Here's what might have happened before Jim went back to space.

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Jim waited until he felt the effects of the transporter wore off before he moved. He was tired and wanted to get away. The_ Enterprise_ had docked for repairs and he had decided to disappear for the next few days. Scotty had gotten the coordinates for him and he had used a transporter to move from place to place.

Iowa was always his home, and he returned to it every now and then when he needed something to bring him back down to earth. This time he was returning because he needed to get away from his crew. He decided going home was the only choice so he snuck out.

He was careful as he walked around Iowa City. It was snowy and slick. It was always like this when winter set in. He was used to it but then again he really liked the snow. It made him feel as if he were a normal person instead of a captain of a starship.

He walked through the city until he got to the one apartment building he knew he would be welcome. He didn't have many friends, but the ones he did have always welcomed him with open arms. He walked into one of the biggest apartment buildings and took the elevator to the eighth floor.

After he stepped off the elevator, all of his emotions took over. He leaned against the wall and tried to get control of himself. It was getting harder and harder for him to control all of his emotions. He stumbled down the hall until he got to the right door. He beat against it until it opened. The woman on the other side stared up at him with curiosity then realization set in.

"Collin," he gasped as a flood of tears washed over him.

Collin pulled him into the apartment and locked the door. Jim dropped his bag and grabbed her when she turned around. She was the only one he could turn to because he knew she wasn't going to turn him in to Starfleet as being gone. He knew that she was part of the Starfleet but she worked independently from them on many things.

Jim's legs gave out and they sank to the floor. He couldn't stop the tears that found their way down his cheeks. Here he could cry all he wanted. Here he could be incoherent and stupid. Here he could just grieve.

Collin unfolded her legs so they didn't fall asleep as she held the crying captain. Carefully she peeled layer after layer off him until he was just in his jeans and t-shirt. She tossed his boots over her shoulder in the direction of the door, all the while he was clinging to her.

Several hours later they were crashed on the couch with the lights off. Jim had finally decided the floor was making his butt go to sleep and got on the couch. Collin went to the kitchen to make something to drink and when she returned, he was on his back with his eyes covered with one of his arms. She lifted his head and sat under him. He laid there with his head in her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Jim fell asleep a little after midnight. He spent the better part of nine hours staring at the ceiling or some odd spot on the floor. Collin got up and grabbed a pillow from her bed and an extra blanket. Carefully she placed the pillow under his head and covered him with the blanket. She had only seen Jim like this one other time, and she knew he was going to have a rough night. She settled in the chair with a book and a cup of coffee.

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Leonard McCoy prowled the hallways of the _Enterprise_. The crew was on mandatory shore leave until they could get the ship repaired. Admiral Marcus had blown holes in the hull before Khan had killed him. Then Khan had tried to finish what the admiral had started. Spock had blown Khan up in space, or so they thought. He had managed to get his ship into Earth's orbit and tried to blow up San Francisco.

The Enterprise had been falling right behind him. Jim had stopped that by poisoning himself with radiation when he went into the warp core and shoved the relays back into place. He had killed himself. Somehow Khan had survived his fall and Spock had gone after him to make him pay for all the pain and suffering he had caused. He was about to kill him when he found out that the man's blood could be used to save the captain.

Jim had been in the hospital for two weeks as the transfusions took effect. He had woken up as badly as he always did. Spock had been right there when he came to. They had talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Then Spock dropped a bombshell. Starfleet wanted Jim to give Admiral Pike's eulogy. Jim shut down after that.

He had done as they asked, but there was still some time before he had to go back to his ship. Everyone was working hard to get the ship back in order, including Jim, but McCoy could tell it was taking its toll on the young man. Pike had fought hard for Jim and it had cost him his life. Jim was never going to forget that.

When he had gotten up that morning, McCoy was determined to get Jim to talk to him. He went to his apartment and rang the little chime five times to no avail. He then went to the shipyard to see if he was annoying the engineers about his baby. The engineers told him they hadn't seen him all day. That was unusual for the captain. He usually was very picky about the repairs of his ship.

His next stop was Spock's apartment. The Vulcan hadn't seen him since the memorial service. That made McCoy nervous. Jim usually told him where he was going. He knew the country doctor tended to worry about him too much. They were family to each other.

McCoy went back to his apartment in the medical facility and tried to remember what he knew about Jim's past. Jim never really talked much about it but he knew there were a few people Jim called on when he was really suffering. McCoy thought long and hard before a memory popped into his mind. He packed a bag and grabbed his coat. He was going to Iowa.

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It was nearing five in the afternoon when there was a knock on the front door. Collin peered into her bedroom to see if it had bothered Jim. The captain was still passed out in her bed. She had been right. He had had a fitful night. He had woken up eight times screaming. Jim didn't scream but he had during the night. She had been there each time. Finally she had moved him to her room where he had fallen asleep against her. She had to go to work but had called in saying she was sick.

She was making dinner when someone pounded on her door. She walked from her kitchen to get the door. The doctor was there with a bag in hand. She remembered him from when Jim sent messages to her. He was a good friend on Jim's, one she owed so much to.

She stepped back and allowed him in. When the man tilted his head in question, she pointed down the hallway to the open door. He followed her finger, sighed, and then followed her into the kitchen. There he took her hand.

"Leonard McCoy," he said.

"Collin Simpson," she replied. "Would you like some coffee and something to eat?"

"That would be lovely." He stripped off his coat then toed off his boots. He was even nice enough to take them to the front door so they could dry. He came back and sank into the chair. "How is he?"

Collin poured two cups of coffee then made two plates of eggs, bacon, and toast. She set them down in front of them and sat down. She shook her head in response to his question.

"Not good, I'm afraid. He stayed up half the night. Sleep has never come easy to him when he's grieving over someone he lost," she said.

"So he told you?"

She nodded as she watched him eat. "Yeah, he told me the details. I'd heard about it on the news and I figured he'd be here sooner or later. They televised the memorial service."

McCoy nodded as he swallowed the mouthful he had. "He takes these things too personally."

"What do you expect? He grew up an unwanted child. He's suffered so much. When he finds someone he trusts and respects, he latches on to them with every part of his being. Losing Pike tore at him. I'm surprised it didn't tear him apart."

"You know a lot about him."

"We went to school together. He was my tutor in math."

"He must trust you enough if he suddenly shows up here."

Collin smiled. "McCoy, I have no family. My parents were killed in a shuttle accident when I was two. I was raised in a group home. I understand where he's coming from."

"He trusts you." She nodded. "How long will he sleep?"

"The rest of the day and maybe some through the night. I'm not expecting it though."

"Hey, Bones." They looked over at the door to the kitchen.

"See?" Collin asked.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked as he made his way into the kitchen. He reached for the coffee pot but Collin smacked his leg. "What?"

"No coffee. You won't sleep tonight," she said.

"I won't sleep anyway." She raised an eyebrow at him until he backed down. He reached for a glass in the cabinet and poured himself some juice. He sat down with them and stole a piece of bacon from Collin. "What are you doing here, Bones?"

"You just disappeared from San Francisco. I wanted to make sure you were okay," the doctor replied as he slapped his friend's hand away from his plate.

"As you can see, I'm fine."

Collin snorted as she stood and made him a plate. "You're not fine."

"Shut up, Col."

"She's just trying to help you," McCoy replied.

"How did you find me?"

"There're only a couple places you go to in Iowa when you get upset, Jim. I just narrowed it down. I have to say Collin is a nice woman. It's good to know you have someone who can deal with your blind rages."

"Shut up, Bones."

McCoy smiled up at Collin as she picked up her plate and mug to take them to the sink. He finished his meal and walked over to her. Bumping her out of the way, he took over washing the dishes. She shook her head at him and went to do something in the other room. Jim was silent as he finished off his dinner. He handed McCoy his plate and cup then went back to Collin's room where he shut the door.

"He'll do that until you tell him not to or you get him to talk," Collin said as she brought the garbage from the living room into the kitchen.

"When will he return?" McCoy asked.

"When he gets hungry." She took the garbage to the shoot then grabbed an extra bag. "When do you ship back out?"

"In two days, but I can't give him command until I know he's been cleared."

"Do you know what I do?"McCoy shook his head as he began drying dishes. Collin pulled something off her wall and showed it to him.

"You're a psychologist?"

She nodded. "Yep, and I've been reassigned to the _Enterprise_ to help evaluate the crew. I'll be shipping out with you."

"So you'll be keeping up with Jim?"

"Someone has to. You'll be keeping up with the rest of the crew. I think I can help a little bit."

"Will you need an office all your own?"

"No, I can work from my quarters. Don't worry. I won't move you anywhere."

McCoy smiled once again. He really liked this woman. He understood why Jim got along with her.

"Collin, do you know a woman named Alanna?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do. Alanna and Jim bar hopped together. I was too busy going to school and joining Starfleet when I got out of high school." Collin looked at him as she took her dishes from him and put them up. "What about her?"

"She's working on the _Enterprise_ as a botanist."

"Cool. I'm glad she did something with her life as well."

They finished cleaning up the kitchen. Then Collin put on her coat and went to the store. She said they were going to need more groceries if they were going to stay in her tiny apartment together. McCoy didn't argue with her because it gave him time to look around. He was a nosy man so he justified himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim released an anguished cry. Only he didn't know because he was sleeping. He was dreaming of everything that had happened to him in the last week. It reminded him of what he went through four months ago after the Narada incident. He felt helpless.

He was so into his dream he didn't feel someone pulling at his shoulder. He was seeing Khan behind his eyes and there was no way he was going to take his eyes off the man. He started swinging, but no matter how hard or how fast, he could never connect.

Finally his fist made contact. Except when he heard the grunt, it wasn't male at all. It was feminine. He forced his eyes open and looked around his surroundings. His mind flooded back to where he was. He was in a small apartment in Iowa City with one of his oldest friends. He blinked as light flooded the room and McCoy came bustling in.

"My God, what happened?" he asked as he went immediately to Collin.

She was cautious as he touched her face. "He was having a nightmare and I was attempting to wake him up when he punched me in the face."

McCoy tilted her head from side to side. "He's busted your nose and lip. It's bleeding pretty decently."

"Don't tell me that," she laughed then winced. "Jim, you know where the bathroom is. Bring some toilet paper please."

"And grab my med kit while you're out there," McCoy called.

Jim felt horrible as he ran to the bathroom down the hall. He hadn't meant to punch his oldest friend in the face. He thought she had been Khan. His nightmares had been plagued by that man for days and he was already back in space in his cryotube. Before he had gone back, he had taken someone dear to Jim. That was something he couldn't forgive.

He grabbed McCoy's med kit and went back into the room. The doctor was asking the other doctor questions as he looked her over again. He set the box on the bed and watched as the medical doctor went to work. McCoy tilted Collin's head back so he could stop the blood. Collin looked over at him then motioned for him to come over. He was very cautious as he crawled over to her and laid his head on her leg.

"Well, it's not broken. It will be swollen for a few days. I think you can handle something like that," McCoy said as he injected a hypospray into her neck.

Collin nodded. "Can you tell me how long the headache will last?"

Jim lifted his head. "You have a headache?"

"Is that dangerous?" McCoy asked.

"Collin's a telepath. Sometimes if she gets a headache, she tends to broadcast loudly. That's why she's a psychologist."

"If your headaches get any worse, come see me. Jim, don't punch her anymore. I'd hate to see what she'd do to you."

"She won't do much to me. Well, except make me sit through her therapy sessions for three hours." Collin smiled and ruffled his hair.

McCoy watched the affection between the two of them. It was obvious this woman had attempted to keep the younger Jim Kirk out of trouble when they were in grade school and high school. It hadn't worked really well but they were still friends.

"Well, I can see the two of you aren't angry at each other. I'm going to go back to bed. If anything else happens, let me know and I'll do what I can," he said. He rubbed his head as he walked out of the bedroom.

Jim watched Collin as she tossed the bloody tissues into the garbage. Her nose had stopped bleeding but it was red and puffy. The edge of her lip was red and still bleeding a little bit. She licked it and winced slightly as she climbed back in the bed. She lay facing him.

"I'm so sorry," he said as she killed the lights.

"It's all right. I've taken worse hits than this. Every doctor, whether in the medical profession or psychological, has to take personal defense and advanced defense courses. I had a couple of tough instructors. One of the instructors had gotten sick and had to be replaced by a Vulcan. He was tough," she said.

"What was the Vulcan's name?"

"I don't remember, but I'll know him when I see him. He was just a student himself but he was almost done when I came through. What I'm saying is that I can take a beating worse than this one."

Jim lifted his hand and ran it down her raven black hair. He watched as her gray eyes started to close from a combination of the meds Bones had given her and the gentleness of his hand. Right before she went to sleep, she reached up and grabbed his hand. He felt her groggy mind pour into his. She was attempting to calm him enough so he could sleep.

After fighting it, he let it overcome him. He placed his forehead against hers and waited.

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Two days later, Jim walked off the shuttle in the bay and looked around. This was the first time in a week he had been on his precious ship. He hadn't even come when the engineers were working on the ship. He couldn't be near it for a while. He also thought no one would find him in Iowa but he was an idiot to think that. Bones would always find him, and vice versa.

"Jim."

He turned around to look at his friends. Both were standing in blue uniforms. The only difference was the bands around their wrists. One of McCoy's bands was very thin while the other was bold. It told he was a lieutenant commander. Collin's bands were thick, signifying she was a commander. It made sense considering she had about eight more years experience on them.

Collin brushed past the captain with an easy step. He was sidetracked for a minute before he realized she was heading toward Medical Bay. He looked at McCoy for a minute then followed after her. He wondered how everyone was going to react when they saw her face. He still winced every time he looked at her.

"She knows where she's going," McCoy noted.

"She's been on a starship before. I think it was a couple of years before I got into Starfleet. She was doing what is equivalent of residency to a doctor. She had to be on a starship for a year. That was a year before we joined," Jim replied.

"She said something about wanting to work from her quarters."

"Yeah, she's wanting to make sure everyone is comfortable when she talks to them. She said she's going to talk to the entire command crew then go from there. I told her some people wouldn't want to talk."

"Namely the green blooded hobgoblin."

Jim nodded at his friend's speculation. "Yeah, namely Spock. I haven't even talked to the commander since Pike's memorial. That was my fault because I wanted to get out."

"Well, the commander will have to listen or he won't be fit for duty."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

They walked into Medical to find the nurses gushing over the bruises on Collin's face. The commander was just standing there as they talked around her. McCoy groaned then began to herd his staff back to where they needed to be. He walked into his office then came back out with a padd. He handed it to Collin.

"These are you orders and where you will be staying. According to regulations, you will be given an office but it's yours to do with however you choose," he said. He tilted her face to look up at him. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, it's throbbing a little bit but other than that I'm fine. It stopped bleeding yesterday," Collin replied.

"That's good. Remember what I said."

"Yeah, yeah. If I get a headache come to you."

Jim smiled. "Well, let's get to the bridge. I have a starship to run."

Collin and McCoy looked at each other but followed him nonetheless. They were quiet while they were in the turbolift. Jim was exuding nervousness the closer he got to the bridge. Collin placed a hand on him and his shoulders started to relax. He turned to look at her and smiled.

"Captain on the bridge."

Every crew member stood and looked at him. He took a deep breath and walked to his chair.

"Ship is ready for warp, Captain," Sulu said.

"Thank you," Jim replied. He turned a complete circle. "We have been granted a new crew member. This is Dr. Collin Simpson. She was ordered to come here to check on our mental well-being. Everyone has been ordered to sit with her for at least one session. During that time, she will determine whether or not you are fit for duty. I have sent a list of the times when everyone is to meet with her. If you fail to do so, you will be relieved of duty until you do."

"That goes the same for you, Captain," Collin said.

"Yes, I am fully aware of that. If there are no questions, Sulu, take us out."

Jim sat down in his chair, leaving the two doctors to stand behind him. They shared another look. This time McCoy laughed. They both knew that Jim would be the last one on the list because he had to run the ship but he would try his hardest not to be around her where she could grab him.

As they snapped into warp, the chief science officer got up and walked over to them. He loomed over Collin until it annoyed McCoy.

"Spock, don't you have anything better to do than to annoy Collin?" he asked.

"It's fine, Dr. McCoy," Collin said. "I know Commander Spock." She turned to him and nodded. "It's good to see you again."

"And you as well. If I remember correctly, you were my top student in the combat classes," Spock replied.

"It didn't help me very much because I was never sent on an away mission, but it's good knowledge to have. How have you been, commander?"

"I have been quite well. You know my planet was destroyed a few months ago."

"I heard. How many Vulcans are left?"

"Under one hundred thousand. I am still angry at the ones who took their lives."

"It's only understandable. I would be angry as well. But we can discuss this in your session. I don't think you want anyone knowing your deepest thoughts while on the bridge."

"Doctor, would it be possible to schedule more than one session on a weekly basis?"

"Sure. We'll discuss the details later. Now if you'll excuse me?" Collin turned around and walked off the bridge.

"Doctor, what happened to her face?"

McCoy couldn't pass up the opportunity. "Jim punched her in the face."

"Bones, if you're going to tell a story, tell it correctly," Jim called from across the bridge.

"Captain, how could you punch an innocent woman?" Uhura demanded.

"It was an accident. I was dreaming and didn't realize it was her until it was too late. Besides, Bones was there to take care of her. It's not like it did any permanent damage."

The communication officer planted her hands on her hips and stared at her captain. "Did you ever think that people might think she's in an abusive relationship?"

"If she was, I'd kill the guy myself."

"Jim, you can barely hold your own in a fight. What makes you think you can take on someone who attacks Collin?" McCoy asked.

Jim gave him a pointed look. "Thanks for the support. Let's get back to work. We have a five year mission we need to complete."

"Let's hope you don't punch anymore women in the face," Uhura replied as she went back to her console.

"I said it was an accident!"


	3. Chapter 3

Uhura walked into Medical Bay and went straight to the CMO's office. She had been the first on the list to see the new psychologist. She wasn't sure if it was a joke from Jim or if he wanted her to break the ice.

She found the new doctor with Dr. McCoy. McCoy was looking over a padd with a critical eye. Finally he signed it and handed it to Collin. It must have been a confidentiality agreement. Until then McCoy had been the one they talked to and the doctor had an odd way of listening.

Collin stood, shook the doctor's hand, and then handed him a list of people she wanted to talk to. By the frown on his face, she was certain his name was on it. Uhura waited on the woman as she crossed to the doors.

"Lieutenant," she said as she passed her.

"I'm reporting for my session," Uhura replied.

"Follow me."

Uhura did as she was told. Collin was quiet as she walked down the corridor. When the communications officer looked over her shoulder, she was reading over their medical records. She was keeping an eye out for something strange. Uhura wasn't sure what would pop up on any of their records but she wasn't going to be too nosy and look.

They were almost to Collin's quarters when she veered to the left. She went to one of the rec rooms. It was empty so they walked over to a couple of the chairs and sat down.

"I'm going to warn you now before we start any of this," Collin said as she prepared everything she would need. "I'm a telepath. I can hear your thoughts. I try not to snoop too much but I have found that my power gives me a deeper insight to the person."

"Do you use it all the time?" Uhura asked.

Collin shook her head. "No, not all the time, but mostly when I know something is wrong. Starfleet was a little nervous when I told them about it but it can't be helped. My lineage is somewhat impressive so it's understandable that I am able to read mind. Most species that have the power to read minds are touch telepaths such as Vulcans."

"Commander Spock knows of you?"

"Yes, he knows me quite well. I was his best student in hand-to-hand combat and advanced combat. In both I used my power to win unwinnable matches."

"No win scenarios? Are you related to Captain Kirk?"

Collin smiled. "Jim and I have been friends for a very long time. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about how you've done since you've been in Starfleet."

Uhura went into her tale about how she joined and how she met everyone. She even told about Kirk hitting on her every chance he got. She told about how she was the first one to find out about the Romulan attack four months prior and how she was the one Admiral Pike appointed to communications officer when they went after the Romulans.

She went into her tale about how she and Commander Spock started their relationship. She said it wasn't intentional, but the more time they spent together, the more they got to know each other. One thing led to another and they found themselves dating. At first they had to keep their relationship a secret until after the Narada incident. Then everyone knew what was going on because Kirk couldn't keep his trap shut.

After thinking about everything that had happened, she launched into the tale of her hard times with Spock. She also said they had talked about Spock's letting go of his emotions when times got tough. She admitted she was annoyed when it didn't seem like he had any emotions.

As she talked she realized she didn't feel anything coming from the other woman. Collin was writing everything down and it didn't seem as if she were listening. She would glance up every now and then to prove she was listening but Uhura got the feeling it was something completely different she was feeling. Finally the doctor looked up when she went quiet.

"You said Admiral Pike was the one who gave you the communications position," she said. Uhura nodded. "What was your initial reaction when you heard the admiral had been killed?" The woman just looked at her. "Uhura, it is my job to make sure you are fit for duty. If you cannot answer a simple question, I cannot pass you."

Uhura took a moment to sift through the emotions running through her. "I thought it was a joke. But then I saw the captain crying like a baby and I knew it wasn't a joke. Jim wouldn't fake emotion like that. Then we went after Khan and Kirk was a different man. He was focused. It kind of scared me."

"What about when Jim died?"

The lieutenant's face fell and she looked as if she were on the verge of tears. "It killed us. We had just lost Pike. There was no way we could lose Jim as well. When McCoy said there was a cure, I knew I had to do something. But Spock had already gone after Khan and he was angry. I was the only one he wasn't going to attack so I went. When he learned that Jim would live if we kept Khan alive, he was shocked, but he didn't argue."

"What did you feel the first time you saw Jim after he had been revived?"

"I hugged him and tried not to cry. I know he's a bit annoying with his no-win scenarios and his happy-go-lucky charm, but this is his ship. This is his crew and he would die again to protect us. I wanted to cry for him when he was asked to say something at Pike's memorial. He wanted to run and hide but he did as they asked. Except now I know he did run and hide afterwards."

She stopped and looked at the doctor. "Please. Whatever you do, don't let Jim get out of these sessions. He has a bad habit of running away when he doesn't want to talk."

Collin smiled at her. "I know, but I'll make sure he gets his fair share of time to deal with me. I will hunt him down if I have to." She looked at her paper and the time on her padd. "Lieutenant, I think we're done."

Uhura looked surprised. "I don't have to come back?"

The doctor shook her head. "No, I think you are well balanced after the tragedy that has befallen this ship twice. However, if you feel the need to talk, just shoot me a message and I will meet with you."

Collin walked out with her patient and went back to Medical so she could return the files McCoy had loaned her. It was amazing that none of the member of the command crew was suffering too much from everything that had happened in the last three months. McCoy had tried to sit down and talk with every member of command crew and even some of the other crew members who had known Admiral Pike. No one wanted to talk, especially Jim.

McCoy was busy when she returned to his office. As to not make too much of a disturbance, she left the padd in his office. The nurses nodded at her as once again she moved from the bay. She was thinking about everything she had learned from Uhura when she bumped into someone.

"Sorry," she said. "I was thinking and not paying attention to where I was going."

"It is as well considering I was thinking as well. I was not watching where my feet took me."

Collin looked up as she took in the familiar voice. "I'm sorry, Commander. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, I am quiet fine. It is you who needs to have your face looked at. I think your wound has reopened."

She reached up and swiped a finger under her nose. Sure enough it came back stained red. She sighed and walked back into Medical Bay. This time she was going to annoy the doctor until he looked up. He was the one who told her to make sure she came to him if the wound reopened.

She knocked on the panel of his door when it slid apart. He grunted at her, which she assumed was his demand for her to go away. Instead she walked in and shoved her finger under his nose. He looked at it then looked up at her. She made a small smile that had him getting up and grabbing a med kit from under his desk. He made her sit on the chair as he got to work.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"I ran into Spock. Vulcans have very hard chests. It's amazing that anyone can sleep on them," she replied.

"I told you to be careful."

"I was careful. I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"That's not being careful." He finished what he was doing and tossed the soiled thing into the recycler. "All right. It's stopped bleeding. Have you finished one session?"

Collin stood from the chair and straightened her uniform. "Yes, I just finished with Uhura. I can't say much but it was interesting."

"Do you think we'll be able to talk doctor to doctor after a few more?"

"Why not? As long as I don't have to name the patients I can talk." She looked over her shoulder at the Vulcan behind her. "I can see that my work is far from over today."

McCoy motioned with his hand. "Then by all means carry on."

Collin smiled as she walked out of the doctor's office. She felt the Vulcan following her as she left Medical Bay and headed for the Mess Hall. It was dinner time and she was hungry. Talking to people wasn't bad. It was the picking different emotions and reading their minds that was the issue. She felt her stomach punching her as if it were telling her to listen to it.

When they arrived in the Mess Hall, they got plenty of looks. Collin ignored them. There wasn't a point in starting a fight with someone when she knew she was going to have a long night ahead of her. Once again the night before Jim had had it rough. He didn't sleep at all. He spent the entire night reading or writing. She had never seen him do so much reading on the human mind. Even when he came to visit a couple of times in college he had never inhaled so much of what she was studying. If he was reading, it was going to make it even harder to get him to open up.

She replicated her favorite meal then took it back to her seat with a cup of hot tea. Once again Spock followed her. He sat down with her and started on his own meal. She began to inhale the fried chicken, green bean, and corn. When she was somewhat done, she looked up. Spock was staring at her with a look of disgust. She shrugged at him then polished off her black eyed peas.

"What do you need, Mr. Spock?" she asked as she picked up her second fork and began on her peach cobbler.

"Do you always eat like that?" he asked.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He had obviously not meant to ask that question but it had slipped out before he could filter it. From all the reports she had read on the commander, he was always in control of his faculties. It tended to rub people the wrong way but it was his Vulcan side.

He actually looked embarrassed. "I am sorry. I did not mean to sound rude."

"It's quite all right. I've been asked that before. Growing up the way I did, you had to eat fast or you wouldn't eat. I guess it followed me until today," she replied. Once again she stabbed at her pie. "What is it you need?"

"I know I am not on your schedule for tonight, but I was wondering if you could see me anyway."

She frowned and swallowed the bite. "Is everything all right?"

"Dr. McCoy has wanted me to talk to someone since the memorial but I wouldn't listen to him. Now I think he is correct. I have…" He paused and took a breath. This must be bothering him enough it rendered him speechless. "I have been having unpleasant dreams since the night I found Admiral Pike after Khan's attack."

"If I remember everything I learned in physiology, Vulcans don't require much sleep. Are you implying that you haven't slept in a week?" The man nodded. She leaned back and crossed her arms. "That is a dilemma. We can't be out in space with our Chief Science Officer suffering from sleep deprivation."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"More than likely. First I want to talk to you. I'll devise something from there. I'm meeting with Sulu at 1700 hours. I can see you afterwards. It will be about 1800 before I get there."

"That is fine. Come to my quarters when you are finished."

Spock stood and left Collin sitting at the table with her arms crossed. She saw Uhura walk into the Mess Hall as the Vulcan walked out. She turned to watch him leave then looked at the direction which he came. They made eye contact. Uhura raised a questioning brow. Collin's answer was a shake of her head. There were just some things she didn't want to get involved with.


	4. Chapter 4

Collin pushed the chime to enter the quarters at 1800 hours. Sulu had showed up at 1630, thirty minutes before his designated time. She hadn't been too busy. She had only been working on her padd when he walked into her office. Normally she would have met her patient in a nondescript place. It would be easier for the patient that way. It had always worked. Up until now.

She had looked up when Sulu walked in. The man just plopped down in one of the chairs in front of her desk. He was quiet as she finished her work. When she looked up, she barely had time to warn him about her extra senses as he jumped into his whole story.

As she had been paid to do before she fully committed to Starfleet, she listened to him, even going so far as to write some of it down. She listened to him with both her ears and her mind. She picked out some of the emotions she had sensed in Uhura and in McCoy even though she hadn't talked to the doctor yet.

Sadness was the first and most prominent emotion she felt from him, as well as the rest of them. It was obvious she had found the source of the tension in the crew. They were all scared of losing any one of their friends, especially their captain. It was like a ticking time bomb that was about to explode. If someone else got hurt, they were liable to come apart.

She had spent the next hour trying to keep him calm enough so they could talk through his emotions. Sulu projected a man of confidence and he was, but he was also one of the most sensitive men on the ship. He was fourth behind three others she had talked to recently. When he was finally calm, she sent him to the Mess Hall to get something to drink.

After writing a quick note to herself to write about all of this in her logs, she changed clothes and went to see the Vulcan. She had a feeling he was going to be a little bit annoyed that she was slightly late but it didn't matter. She said she'd be there when her time with Sulu was over.

The door slid open and she was greeted with a blast of dry air. Contrary to popular belief, Vulcans ran a lower body temperature because of the hot, dry temperature of Vulcan. It was obvious that he would keep the temperature to his room higher than everyone else.

She walked in and looked around. It was slightly dark in the room but it was seven o'clock. Vulcans didn't need much sleep so there was no way the man was getting ready for bed. His quarters were much bigger than a lower ranked crewman. He had his own room for starters and an en suite bathroom. If she remembered correctly, she had asked for a bathroom with a normal shower as well as a sonic shower. Sometimes a girl just had to indulge.

"You are late," she heard from her left.

Her mind felt a stirring against it, as if Spock was trying to reach out but couldn't. She turned and saw him sitting at her desk doing something. Then she realized he was working on some of the work he was supposed to do for the week.

"Yeah, I know I'm late. Sulu's session ran late," she said. She noticed a replicator in the corner by the door. "Do you mind if I make something to drink?"

"Go right ahead."

"Would you like something, Spock?"

He turned his head to look at her and blinked. Obviously someone had never asked him if he wanted anything. She brought her hand up to her mouth to hide her laughter.

"Tea would be nice. Thank you," he said after a few seconds.

She nodded and walked over to the replicator. She made a cup of hot Chai tea for herself. Thinking carefully of what the Vulcan might like, she opted for Earl Grey. He had moved from his desk when she turned around. He was now in one of the chairs in front of a chess set. Smiling, she crossed to him, set the cup down in front of him, and moved one of the pieces on the board. His eyebrow went up then he reciprocated the move.

They played and the time passed. Finally there were only a few pieces left on the board. Spock looked dumbfounded as he studied the board. Apparently no one had proven to be a match for him in a long time. Collin was even cheating as everyone usually accused her of doing. Her telepathy didn't work that way anyone. It was mainly geared towards emotions and sometime the odd thought.

Spock finally moved his queen. Collin kept a straight face all the way through the move. Then she moved her king and flicked over the queen.

"Checkmate," she said.

The Vulcan leaned back in his seat and stared at the board. Collin took a sip of her tea and watched him. He was trying to figure out how she had beaten him, but he wasn't going to find out. Collin had spent many nights learning how to completely stomp the competition in chess. The only person who had beaten her had been a commander back in the academy.

"I am worried about the captain," he said.

She looked up from the board and straight into his eyes. They were dark, almost as dark as chocolate but they were filled with emotion. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to tell that. She watched as one of his fingers thrummed a rhythm on the porcelain.

"He used to be able to talk to Dr. McCoy or me. He used to talk to us whether we liked it or not. He would sit where you are right now and drink contraband whiskey. We were off duty so there was nothing I could do. I could have turned him in, but it was his vice to deal with, not mine. He would get drunk and say everything that was on his mind," he said.

"Jim has a loose mouth when he's angry or scared. He's got an even looser mouth when he's drunk. Sometimes you just have to ignore him," she replied.

"I did most of the time. He would just ramble about his days in the academy and how much he hated his life in Iowa. He always mentioned someone named Collin, but I never knew the gender of the person. He had great affection for you when he spoke."

She didn't say a word as the Vulcan put his cup on the table and walked towards the porthole. He was very much lost in thought. She leaned back and closed her eyes as he began to pace from the chair to the porthole.

"He hasn't been the same since the Narada incident. He's impulsive, vulgar, and doesn't listen to reason. His belief in no-win scenarios is unfounded. He thinks it's his way or no way. We try to advise him and he blows us off," he stated.

"He's always done that. Don't take it too personally."

He stopped and looked at her. "He's the captain of a starship. There are over eight hundred people on this ship that he is sworn to protect. How can he do that when he's gallivanting across the universe misusing his position." He frowned at her when he noticed her small smile. "What is it you are smiling at?"

"You have named some of the worst things Jim has ever done, but below that all, he is very concerned with his crew." She stood and pulled something from her pocket. "To understand Jim, you must understand everywhere he's been, everything he's seen, and everyone he knows. Only then will you understand Jim."

Spock didn't seem convinced with that response. "In your professional opinion, why does he not talk about what he's feeling?"

"You know I cannot talk about patients due to confidentiality agreements, but I can talk to you as his friend. He compartmentalizes everything. Even when we were kids, he would go through something one day and the next be seemingly fine. There were only two people who knew the difference. I was one. The other was Sam, his brother. When Sam walked out on him, he closed himself off from everyone. But I was nosy enough to get under the kid's skin. That's how we became friends. You can't let him stay quiet because it will eat him alive. He's a genius but when it comes to his emotions, he's handicapped."

There was a moment of tense silence. It lasted until the door to Spock's room opened. They both turned to watch Uhura walk through. She had pulled a double shift and must have just come from it. When Collin had seen her, she had been in the Mess Hall. The communications officer had been let off for a few minutes so she could eat.

She looked up when she noticed their silence. Then she looked between the two of them.

"Did I interrupt something?" she asked.

Collin shook her head. "No, we were just talking. If you'll excuse me, I will be going now. Spock, I will see you tomorrow immediately after your shift."

She was gone before she could hear his response.

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She was enjoying a good sleep when she heard banging on her door. Frowning she turned over and contributed it to her intense dream. There had been knocking in it, except it had been a wooden door.

She had been just about to sleep into REM once again when the door slid open. She heard the quick footsteps then her bed dipped. Her covers were thrown from her body and something warm slid in beside her. She felt another's emotions stirring against her mind.

"Jim, go back to your room," she said as she rolled over.

There wasn't an answer so she sat up and shoved at him. He didn't budge, only buried his head in the pillow. She laid a hand on his shoulder and noticed he was shivering. Something must have scared him enough that he came all the way from his quarters to hers. She knew his dreams could be debilitating to the point that he couldn't sleep for several hours. Most of the time he ended up staying awake all night, and that worked against his command.

Arguing with him was going to keep her up the rest of the night so she shifted over towards the wall. Jim was the hardest person to budge when he was upset so she left him alone.

"You know, you should really talk to someone about this," she said.

"No one's going to know," he replied. He turned over and stared at the ceiling. "Sulu told me you're helping him sort through some things. I think it will help him."

"It would help you as well."

"Don't start that."

"You know you will have to talk to me if you want to resume command of this ship. I cannot under good conscience tell you that you can continue your command when your mind is focused on the death of Admiral Pike."

His angry blue gaze pinned her to the wall but she didn't back down. His stares didn't bother her as much as it did everyone else. That was because she knew him and knew how his mind worked. He was going to be the hardest one to crack but when she did, he was going to be a blubbering mess. That was all right. She had enough tissues.

"You know nothing on the death of Pike."

"I've seen the news and I read the report you and Spock put in. I know everything that happened. You can't sit here and tell me I don't know anything about this. And if you even think about telling me I don't know what you're feeling, you better think twice about that. I know exactly what you're feeling."

He swung his legs off the bed and started for the door. Annoyed that he had woken her up, she got up and went after him. She caught him by the arm and swung him around.

"Jim, you can't run from this. The more you do, the more you'll only hurt yourself. And while you're on this pity party, think of your crew. Imagine what they're going through. Admiral Pike was special to them all. Think of Chekov, fresh out the academy and the first captain he works under is Pike. And what about Sulu? He forgot to retract inertial dampeners and had to have Spock call him out on it. Pike never said a word. And Uhura? She was in the belly of the ship when he asked her if she knew Romulan. He gave her the spot she's at now. He was Spock's friend, even though the Vulcan wouldn't admit it. And he allowed Scotty to stay on the ship even when he was brought back. Then there's Bones, the man who saved his life the first time. The doctor could have said there was nothing he could do but he saved the man's life. But more importantly, there's you. He gave you this ship because he believed in you and you're tarnishing his name by being stupid."

Jim stared at her in shock. She hadn't spoken to him like this ever. Usually he was the one reminding her of how good she was. She dropped her hand and turned away from him.

"I can't stop you from having a pity party, but I can stop you from commanding this ship. It's your choice, Jim, but I won't have you harming anyone else because you can't see past your own grief."

Collin walked back to her bed and climbed in. She heard her door open and close as she pulled the blanket up over her legs. She stared at it for the longest before deciding it was a good idea to sleep again. She would deal with Jim in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

McCoy balanced two plates in his hands as he tried to get into an office. The only problem was this office had recently been voice activated and he had a bag of dessert between his teeth. That made it hard to talk so he rang the chime. Twice. Three times. Finally he just kicked the door when there was no answer.

He was about to turn away when it finally slid open. His angry expression changed immediately as he met the grey eyes of the person he was searching. Collin looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes and they were red. She had been working and crying. Tears killed him so he pushed past her.

Collin stepped back enough to let the gruff doctor through. She had had a small breakfast because she had wanted to get through yesterday's notes. She had been so engulfed in her work she had missed lunch. But there was no way she could have gone to lunch looking the way she did. She knew the doctor would guess she had been upset but she really couldn't talk about it. Not because it was confidential but because it would just break her heart all over again.

She jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder. She turned, ready to fight, only to find McCoy behind her. He gave her a slight smile then pulled her towards her desk. He had brought soup four her and a plate of bread. His dinner was very simple and very healthy. She crinkled her nose at him as she sat down.

"Don't knock it until you try it," he said as he sat down across from her. "Now, eat. I know you missed lunch because you usually eat with Chekov and Scotty. They said you hadn't shown up."

"I was working," she said.

"I figured that much out on my own. What were you working on?"

Her mood dipped once again. "My notes. I go back and read everything I wrote down to make sure I didn't miss anything. Then I put in a report what I believe to be true. Only today I didn't get that far."

McCoy knew better than to get someone talking about emotions when they hadn't had anything to eat. So he shook his head and pointed at her bowl with his fork. She smiled at him then began to eat. They shared a quiet, normal conversation. Collin asked about Joanna and McCoy went into a full tale. He even brought up a couple of holos for her to see.

He noticed she felt more at ease as he talked. He figured it was because the spotlight was off her. So he kept talking. When she finished her meal, she sat back and listened even more. McCoy kept talking even as he got up to make some coffee to go with the dessert he rarely ate.

When he ran out of things to say about his daughter, he sat back and watched her. She had finished the éclair he had brought and was staring at something across the office. She held her coffee cup in one hand and the other was resting under her chin as she stared off into space. As he watched silently, he saw a tear slip down her cheek.

"Sorry," she muttered as she wiped the rebellious liquid from her face.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Doing your job takes a toll on a person's mind and emotions," he replied.

"How do you keep it together when you lose a patient on the table or you know there is no way to save them?"

"I remind myself that I did the best I could and that it was their time to go. Yes, we have the medical technology to heal many things, such as kidneys, livers, and other internal organs, and many diseases, but why would you prolong someone's existence to ease your suffering?

"So to answer your question, I know that what I do helps people. I lose some cases, but I keep reminding myself that the ones I win are the ones who will live a happy, healthy life with their families," he said.

He sat back in his seat. "What's wrong, Collin?"

She looked at him. "I pissed Jim off last night."

"Did he sneak into your room?"

"Yeah, and I told him to go back to his. He did, but that was after I made him mad. All I did was tell him the truth about his actions. Then he ran. Bones, I don't want to take his ship from him, but I'm afraid I will have to if he doesn't listen to reason."

He was slightly shocked she had taken up calling him the nickname Jim had given him. Then what she had said registered and he frowned.

"You threatened to take his ship from him?" he asked. She nodded. "Ah, hell. He's going to be angrier than a mama cat when her kittens are sniffed by a dog."

"I figured as much." She got up and took her cup to the recycler. Then she leaned her forehead against the wall. "He's not going to talk."

"You have to make him talk. He's got to know that he's the one in command of this ship."

"He knows that."

"Not what I meant. I meant that he has to lead by example. That doesn't mean he can throw his life away in a sudden space jump or a bad fight. He has to lead by example in getting help as well. It's a joke around the ship about him hating Medical Bay. That's fine but not getting help because he's mentally unstable is just dumb. Do what you have to do to take care of this ship and its crew. You have my backing in this."

Collin watched as he recycled everything then walked out the door. He wasn't going to talk to Jim about what they discussed, but he was going to give him a good talking to about being stupid. Now it was up to Collin as to what happened next.

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Jim stormed down the corridor of the ship. He was on his way to Medical Bay. He had gotten word of something that he didn't authorize and he was mad as hell about it. So he was in search for the one who made the command.

Everyone got out of his way as they saw him coming. Normally their captain was a happy-go-lucky man but that day he was serious. Serious never really looked nice on Jim Kirk because that meant he was about to do something really stupid or really dangerous. Both usually landed him in Medical Bay so they stayed out his way.

This time they stayed out of his way because he looked angry and they were right. He was angry but not at them. He was about to confront the one he was angry at.

"Collin!" he called when the doors to Medical had barely opened.

The staff of Medical Bay stopped what they were doing and looked at him. No one said a word, probably because they had been instructed by McCoy not to tell him anything. They turned and went about their business.

"Collin! I know you're in here!"

"Jim, shut up," someone said behind him.

The captain turned around. Alanna was behind him carrying a white box under her arm. He was certain it was the newest dose of medicine she had conjured up in her labs from a plant the away team brought back. She had been his friend almost as long as Collin had but now she was with McCoy. He looked down at the twin boys riding in carriers. Connor and Camden were always with her as she worked. They looked just like McCoy with their dark hair and blue-green eyes.

"You're in Medical Bay," she continued. "You can't yell in here. Keep doing so and I will be the one to take you out."

The doors behind her opened and Jim's eyes tightened. Alanna turned around and nearly squealed as she saw Collin walk in. Collin stared in shock as her old friend hobbled over to her. She looked Alanna up and down, taking in the crutches she now had to walk on.

"Collin? I haven't seen you since we graduated high school? How have you been?" she asked.

"I'm good. What happened to you?" She covered her mouth immediately. "Never mind. Don't answer that if you don't want to."

Alanna laughed. "Don't worry about it. I had an accident and now I can't walk without assistance from these. Not that it really matters anymore. I work in a lab so it's not like I have to move around. Unless I'm chasing these two."

"Alanna, have you finished that medicine I asked for?" McCoy asked as he walked out of his office. "Hey, Collin. I see you met Alanna."

"Len, I've known Collin since we were kids. There's no need for introductions," the other woman said.

Collin looked at the carriers on her friend's chest and back. "Children?" Alanna and McCoy smiled as the doctor moved over to her. Then Collin laughed. "Really? You said you always hated doctors."

"Don't start, Col."

Jim gritted his teeth. "Enough! Collin, I want to talk to you?" The woman got haughty and stared at him. "How dare you take my command away from me and give it to Spock?"

"Well, let's see. You keep pushing your meeting time back. You don't sleep. You're reckless. You're short tempered. Shall I go on?" she asked.

"Restore my command."

"No. I will not until you talk to someone."

"I don't need help!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Dr. Simpson, you are hereby relieved of duty."

"Sorry, Jim, but only the captain or the CMO can do that. Seeing as you're neither, I don't follow your orders."

"What kind of friend relieves their friend the captain of duty?"

"The kind of friend who is concerned. You're not yourself, Jim. Until you let me help you, you will not be in command of this ship." She watched his expression change and immediately felt bad. "Don't do this, Jim. Not here. If you want to yell at me in private, fine. But don't do it in front of your crew."

He snorted. "They're not my crew anymore. You made sure of that."

Collin closed her eyes as he pushed past her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. McCoy was watching the doors when she looked at him. When his gaze met hers, he motioned for her to follow him to his office. He took the box from Alanna and walked across the room.

"What have I done?" she asked when the doors closed behind them.

"What was best for this ship. We can't have an irrational captain leading this ship," he replied. He grabbed a padd from the pile on his desk and handed it to her. "You have to swear not to tell anyone I let you see this."

"What is it?""

"It's his mental records after Tarsus IV."

"I already have them." The doctor's eyebrows shot up. "I was there when he came back remember? It was the first record I ever asked for when I earned my degree. I had a hard time getting it, but when I told them I was his friend and planned on helping him, they allowed me to have it. I have the highest clearance on this ship."

The doctor nodded. "I need to reschedule my session this afternoon."

She returned his nod. "I heard from Spock about the away mission he asked to go on. That's fine. Just come see me whenever you get back."

"I can do that. It might be late at night."

"Just wake me up. I've noticed that I work better at night. I'm having to reschedule just about everyone's. Uhura and Chekov's are the only ones I don't have to reschedule."

"How was Spock's session this morning?"

She sighed. "Very intense. I know Vulcans suppress their emotions but when they unleash them, whew. I have another scheduled for him in a couple of days. I want to get through everyone before I schedule second sessions."

"That's a great policy to have. Now if you need anyone to talk to, just knock on my door."

"I will. Thanks."

"Hey, Collin." She stopped on her way out of his office. "Get our idiotic captain back on his feet."

She smiled and walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I love the reviews. Every time I get writer's block for the next chapter, I read the most recent review. It helps me come up with ideas. Keep them coming.

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"Jim!" Collin shoved one of the red shirts out of her way in her chase for the dethroned king. "Sorry. Jim! Come back here!"

The man in civvies walked away from her without a word. She stopped where she was and sighed. He was running to the one place he knew she wouldn't follow. She hoped Scotty would be able to deal with the pissed off man.

She turned and went back the way she came. Jim had once again skipped his scheduled session with her. She had found where he was from Spock, but when she showed up, he had taken off. She knew the majority of his hiding places so she had someone cut him off before he was able to get inside. Finally he had given up and headed for Engineering. She refused to go down there because she knew Scotty would talk her ear off. He had in their session so it was a good assumption.

As she walked back to her office, she thought about the last couple sessions she had done. The one she remembered the best was McCoy's. He had tried so hard not to lose his cool but that all went out the window when he recalled how Jim had died right in front of him. Well, it hadn't been in front of him, but he had been brought to Medical. It had killed McCoy to see his best friend on the table. He hadn't said much about when Admiral Pike was killed but talking about Jim was what made him so childish.

She also recalled Spock's. After talking to him in his quarters about the captain, he finally had an open spot to schedule his session and they sat down the night before. Like the doctor, Spock kept his emotions under a tight belt. He told her of all the things he had been thinking since he had come aboard this ship as First Officer. He recounted the time he first worked with Jim on the ship and how he never understood how Pike could trust the man with the newest starship.

He talked about how the loss of his mother had incited a feeling of bitterness in his spirit, but that had somewhat disappeared when he talked with the captain. He was still angry that she had been taken away from him but his people were doing well. That was all he could ask for.

Then they had gotten into the nitty gritty. She had asked him what he thought about the captain after he officially took the ship from Pike. Spock had gone silent for a good five minutes. During that time she was able to feel all the warring emotions he was exuding. He was trying to get them under wraps before he spoke. When he finally did speak, he said one thing she had never before heard a Vulcan say.

Spock was afraid.

He was afraid that his captain wasn't the man whom he had met in the academy. All this time he had spent with him, he was concerned that he had lost the person he was. He said that he thought one of his friends was turning in on himself because he didn't want to lose anyone close to him.

That was when she finally understood what had been evading her. Jim was mad because he thought she had pinpointed what was bothering him. That and she had taken his command away from her. Once slighted, he didn't forgive easily. If he understood the reasons certain actions were taken, he might listen to reason.

Collin entered her office and sat down behind her desk. She had to come up with an idea to corner Jim and get him to listen. That was going to be hard considering he was sequestered away in Engineering. There had to be a good time and place to get him, but she had to figure out what those were. What was the one place Jim loved to be?

She began to type in her report when her computer started to beep. She entered the pass code to get in and noticed there was an incoming comm. She hit the receive button and waited until the picture came in.

"Admiral Burnett," she said out of shock. The admiral never contacted her. "What can I do for you, Admiral?"

"Lieutenant Uhura patched me through to your office. Is that all right with you?" he asked.

"That's perfectly all right. I'm just a little shocked. The only admiral to ever contact me was Admiral Pike."

"That's the reason I'm calling. Captain Kirk sent out a message to Starfleet asking for you to be removed from his ship. In it he said you had relieved him of duty. Is this correct?"

Inwardly, Collin cringed. Jim had gone so far as to request her be removed from his ship. He had to be really mad at her to do so. Outwardly she was a calm professional. There was no point in letting the admiral know she was upset about taking command from her friend.

"Yes, Admiral, I did take command away from the captain. I did so because I believed him to be incapable of commanding his ship under Regulation 619."

The admiral raised an eyebrow. "You think the captain is emotionally compromised?"

"With all due respect, sir, but have you talked to the captain recently? He is off his rocker."

"He seemed fine to me when I spoke to him."

"Sir, I've had four sessions scheduled for him and he's skipped every single one. He sees me coming and turns the opposite direction. I went to talk to him today and he went to hide in Engineering."

"Pike always did say he was a tough one to crack."

"Sir, I've known Jim all my life. He's always been hard on himself. He thinks Pike's death was part of his fault because he couldn't keep command of his ship. He believes if he proves himself to us all, that we'll forget that Pike chose him and that he was the one who got him killed."

"But Kirk wasn't the one who got him killed."

"He won't listen to that. Pike was a father to a fatherless child. You don't get over that. Trust me."

Burnett took a moment to collect his thoughts. Collin was put on edge because she had never answered to anyone like this. Pike had asked her for Jim's mental records. When he found out he had been to Tarsus IV, Pike had nearly thrown up. By that time, Collin was already working on the academy premises as a councilor. Jim had stopped by every now and then to say hi. Then he got too busy with school, and women, to come by.

She had heard he had attempted to defeat the Kobayashi Maru only to get caught. Then all hell had broken loose and they had to ship out. Luckily she hadn't been on any of the ships sent to take care of the Narada. Jim had called to make sure. He had sounded so…scared.

"Admiral, he's scared," she said without thinking.

Burnett had looked up at her. "What is that?"

"Jim has never really had a family so when he makes friends he holds on to them dearly. It seems like he is suffocating them, but it's only his way of showing affection. He's scared that they're going to walk away from him."

"So he's throwing his body around and disregarding orders and regulations because he's scared he's going to lose his crew and friends?" She nodded. "How are you going to get him to sit down and talk?"

"I don't know, but he's waiting for your reply."

The admiral leaned back and laced his fingers together. "If I back you, will you get him to talk?"

"I have an idea, but it will only work if I can get everyone involved."

"How long will that take?"

"Until tomorrow at the latest. He'll talk to everyone else but me."

"Do what you need to do, but I expect a full report."

"You'll have one."

"Thank you, sir."

When he logged off, she left her office in search of McCoy.

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Jim was sitting with Uhura and Scotty when he saw Collin hurry in. McCoy and Alanna were standing in line to get food when she walked up to them. The doctor looked surprised at first but then his face shifted into concern as she talked. Jim didn't realize he was stabbing his food with his fork until Uhura had placed her hand over his.

Spock ventured over. When he saw his girlfriend touching his friend intimately, he looked over his shoulder to see what was upsetting the man. When he saw the two doctors talking, he understood but sat down anyway. When McCoy and his partner ventured over, they didn't say anything as they sat down and started feeding their twins.

Jim continued to fret as the table filled up. As it had been for the last several days, one seat remained empty. Uhura stared at it for a few minutes as every started to talk then joined in the conversation.

"Jim, why don't you stop being petty and forgive Collin?" McCoy asked.

Jim glared at his best friend. "Is that what she wanted?"

"No, she was talking to him about his away mission. She wants to talk to him about them," Alanna said a she spooned some mashed potatoes into Camden's mouth.

"She's concerned about you," his friend said.

"If she was so concerned, she wouldn't have done what she did."

"And you're just being stubborn," Uhura said. He turned to say something snide to him, but she glared at him. "Don't even deny it. You're mad because some is trying to take care of you. You're so used to taking care of other people that you can't even see it."

"She's right," Spock said before he could even open his mouth.

"I agree," Sulu seconded.

Jim looked around the table as everyone agreed with the couple. For some reason it made his temper rise. "Well, fine! Agree with the women on this one."

He jumped up and stormed from his friends. He really couldn't understand why no one was listening to him. This was about him. He had never been so humiliated as he had this past week. He knew people were whispering behind his back.

As soon as he was out of earshot, McCoy leaned forward. Everyone else did so as well. They all knew Collin had told him something and they wanted to hear it. Collin didn't do it in front of the slighted man for no reason.

"Okay, Collin wants us to corral Jim into the rec room tonight," he said.

"What's going on?" Sulu asked.

"Well, we're going to be the ones to talk to him. She said he has to know how we feel and not just this little bickering we have going on now. She doesn't think he understands how we feel. There is definitely one of us who has to talk to him." He looked at Spock.

The Vulcan sat back. "I told him everything I felt when he was in the hospital recovering from radiation poisoning.

Uhura snorted. "I have several things I want to say to him about that. He was so stupid to do that."

"Well, that's all good information. Use it on the stupid kid when you see him tonight."

"Do any of us know vere he vill be tonight?" Chekov asked.

Scotty swallowed and cleared his throat. "He will be in Engineering. For some reason he has taken up going there."

McCoy slapped himself in the forehead. "Of course he has. Whenever he was upset about something, he would always go tinkering. He restored six old bikes by the time he was done with his first year. Scotty, is there any way you can get him up to the rec room?"

"Aye, I can make up something to tell him."

"Are you certain Collin won't be there?" Spock asked. "The captain hasn't been talking to her because of this whole thing."

"She'll be there but she will be somewhere he can't see." The doctor turned to look at everyone at the table. They all had very determined looks on their faces. "I guess we're all in agreement. I'll see you in the rec room."

They all disbanded after they finished their dinners. McCoy hoped this would work because if it didn't, they were down a decent captain.


	7. Chapter 7

"Bones, I'm not due for inoculations for long while," Jim said.

McCoy was on one side of the man and Scotty was on the other. They each had one of his arms and were leading him down the hall. He had no idea where they were going, but he was slightly drunk so he didn't really care.

He had gone to hide so no one would actually see how badly he was hurting. He had been hurting even before he lost his ship and crew. Everyone thought they could see his pain when he went after Khan, but they had no idea. They had no idea how much he idolized the man who had been friends with his father, the man who had been his father for four years. Now that was all ripped away from him.

It hurt more now than ever that he lost Pike because he had also lost his ship. Collin had cited Regulation 619 in her report and that took his argument away from him. Burnett had sided with the psychologist immediately. Jim didn't think he was emotionally compromised but then again neither had Spock until his father had called him out on it.

Jim knew he was hurting one of his best friends but he was hurting as well. How could a friend go behind his back and take the one thing he couldn't live without? Collin had known him forever and had known what his passion was. Even in the years they spent apart they had known where they stood. Now he wasn't so sure.

He had never seen Collin so upset. The day before when she had been chasing him through the corridors he had known she was trying to help. He had purposefully gone towards Engineering because he had known she wouldn't follow him. But when he turned around to talk to her, she had turned around and headed in the opposite direction. Not only was he hurting, but he had never realized how badly he was hurting his friends.

"Bones, where are we going?" he asked when he realized they had passed Medical Bay a long ways back.

"Just shut up and walk," the doctor groused.

"You know your bedside manner would be a lot nicer if you smiled a little more."

"My bedside manner would be a lot nicer if I didn't have idiot captains trying to be all macho."

"You're forgetting. I'm not a captain anymore. Collin saw to that."

"Oh, shut your drunken mouth. You don't know what that woman did for you."

"She humiliated me."

"You humiliated yerself, captain," Scotty said.

Jim looked down at the Scotsman holding his arm. Scotty rarely ever spoke out against anyone. Now that he was doing it said something about how he felt. He had a temper and lashed out when his warp coil was messed with, but his temper was rarely used on other people. Except Jim. He had lashed out at him when he refused to listen to reason.

"You dinnae listen to any of us when we said things weren't going well with you. You just threw yerself off the next building. How do you think that makes us feel? We try to reason with you but you don't listen. It makes us feel as if you don't care what we think."

Jim was too busy looking at his friend when they suddenly stopped and he was thrust through a doorway. He stumbled but there was no way he could catch his balance because McCoy shoved him once again. He turned to yell at his friend but when he saw the look on his face, the fight went right out of him.

"Sit down." Jim turned around as the voice registered in his head. Spock and the others were standing behind him. "Sit down."

There was nothing he could do against all of his friends so he sank down into the chair. He stared at all the faces before him. Uhura, Spock, Chekov, Scotty, Sulu, and Bones made a formidable alliance when they put all their differences aside. This time they weren't angry. This time they were all upset at him.

It was Uhura who stopped the staring contest and kneeled before him. She took his hand in hers and ran her fingertips over them gently. He had never seen her this upset.

"Jim, listen to me and please listen well. We're all worried about you. You don't talk to any of us anymore. You're always mad at something nowadays and we don't know how to talk to you. Ever since…" Her voice cracked a little as she stopped speaking. She rubbed her eyes. "Ever since you died, you have been extremely different. You need to talk to us."

"Keptin." He looked to Chekov as he spoke. "Keptin, you're a different person. You're not as fun-loving anymore."

"Aye, it's as the kid says. All you do now is work on petty items in Engineering. And quite frankly it's getting kinda annoying," Scotty said.

"I miss the captain who would laugh at me when I accidently forget to retract the external inertial dampeners. I miss the captain who says to go to Warp 4 for no reason at all. I miss the captain we've all gotten to know," Sulu said.

"Jim."

He had to turn around to face Bones. The doctor's face was drawn in what could only be pain. Bones didn't show much emotion other than annoyance or anger. The doctor stepped around Uhura and sat on the floor.

"Jim, do you have any idea what I was feeling when they brought you to me in a body bag?"

"Bones." He leaned forward to touch his friend but he shied away.

"Do you have any idea how pissed off and upset I was that my best friend had died? Do you know how much control it took to keep from knocking over Medical Bay in my pain?" Bones grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him. "Jim, you're an idiot if you don't see how much we love you. It took everything I had not to give up when I saw you on that table, not a breath of life coming from you. You better thank God that I saw that Tribble take a breath because if it hadn't, you would be in the ground with Pike!"

Jim was having a hard time keeping the pain in his chest down when Spock's turn came up. The Vulcan stood above him with a stone face. When he kneeled, that stone face changed. Multiple emotions flitted across the perfect countenance.

"Jim, do you remember what I said?" he asked.

"What…what part?" This time Jim's voice broke when he spoke.

"You asked me why you saved me. I told you it was because you were my friend. Through all of this I have been your friend. We all have been your friends, but you keep pushing us away. You protect us because you don't want anything to happen to us, but what about you? Who protects you? Who protects you when you decide you want to jump off buildings? Who protects you when you need to space jump to an asteroid?"

"Keptin, ve're all in dis together," Chekov said.

"We protect each other," Sulu seconded. "That includes you."

Uhura touched Jim's face gently. "Jim, Collin just wants to protect you as well. That's what she did what she did. She doesn't want you to be the laughing stock of Starfleet. Just like us, she knows what you're capable of doing, and she doesn't want you to lose it all just because you're being stupid."

"Did she put you up to this?" he asked.

"She gave us the boost we needed to talk to you. Lately you've been too preoccupied being annoyed with her so we couldn't get to you. It was her idea to yank you from where you were and force you to listen," Bones said. Jim suddenly stood. "Where are you going?"

"To save my friendship," he said.

Scotty turned to the doctor as they all watched the man run from the rec room. He tripped on his way out. "Do you think he's drunk enough to do this?"

"I guess we'll see."

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Collin sighed as she walked into her quarters. It had been another long day. She had finished all the sessions of the command crew and went about talking to everyone else. She had started her major report about the entirety of the crew and how the ship was functioning. She had to tell about what she had done and how it had changed the atmosphere of the working environment. It was partly her fault but it was also Jim's.

He still was taking to her. That bothered her more than anything else. Jim had been her friend forever and she had stabbed him in the back by taking the one thing he couldn't live without. She felt bad about that, but her main priority was to make sure the chip and its crew was all right after the death of one of their leaders.

She kicked off her shoes into the corner and changed clothes. Once she was in comfortable sweats and an old t-shirt from the University of Iowa, she replicated a cup of coffee and sat down at her desk to do some work.

As she looked over everything she had been working on, there was only one blank in her report. She looked under the heading titled Captain. Jim's face was beside it and everything they had talked about should be there as well. But it wasn't because he refused to talk to her about anything. She couldn't rightly give his ship back to him without him talking to her first.

Annoyed at her own incompetency, she leaned back in her seat and stared at the computer screen. There was nothing she could do to get the man to talk so she was going to have to put in her recommendations.

As she was typing out the final nail in her coffin, the chime went off followed by a knock. She pressed the button on her desk and the doors swung open. She didn't bother getting up. Suddenly two strong arms went around her shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," Jim said into her ear.

Collin stopped typing and leaned back into the familiar embrace. If Jim was finally coming to apologize, it meant the others had gotten through to him. She suspected it had been McCoy's talk about his death that had done him in, but she wasn't going to ask.

"I'm sorry for what I did, Jim, but I had to do it. I couldn't ethically let you continue to command this ship when you hadn't spoke to anyone about what you were feeling. You could have warped into tragedy. Then you would have been even worse for wear," she said.

"I know now why you did it all. Everyone kind of forced it down my throat." So they had gotten through to him. "Did you read Bones' report?"

"Yeah, I could tell he was trying not to get angry at the computer as he was writing it. There are some things better left unsaid in the heat of the moment." She stood and headed for the replicator. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Coffee would be nice."

Collin got what he wanted and turned back to him. He had made himself at home in one of the chairs. He took the cup from her and took a sip of the steaming liquid. She sat down across from her and looked at him. He had lost some sleep in the last week she had been aboard. That was partially her fault and partially his.

"I was there when Pike died," he said suddenly. "I told Admiral Marcus what I thought but he didn't listen. Protocol mandates that every captain and first officer should come together in the war room. That needs to change because what happened could happen again."

He watched as she got up and moved to her desk to get a padd. He considered it a good idea since he might not ever come see her again. He wanted his ship back but he also wanted his friend back. He would do both by talking right now.

When she was settled in her chair once again, he continued. "I knew something was wrong the minute I looked at that screen, but no one wanted to listen. By the time they did, it was too late. Khan was shooting up the office. Pike lost his life in the fire fight."

He stopped to take a deep breath. Talking about Pike was hurting like hell but he had to do it to get everything back. "Spock was the one who found him. I was too busy trying to get to Khan. By the time I got back Pike was dead. It was like receiving a blow to the heart. I had lost my real father then the man who had become like a father. I wanted revenge. I wanted him back. But Marcus wanted us all dead because we had found out his dirty little secret. He shot up my ship, killed a few of my crew. I begged him not to, but he did it anyway."

"What happened when Khan took over the ship Marcus had been using?" she asked.

"He wanted his crew that had been on board all along. We gave him the missiles and made him think his crew was in them. He lost his mind and headed for Earth. We were falling to Earth without any power to stop us. I made a decision. I went to repair the warp drive. In the process I had radiation poisoning. Most people don't survive that."

"Most people don't have a stubborn country doctor on their side."

"I was informed of everything that took place while I was lying there lifeless. My crew hunted down Khan and restored me. Then they locked back in his cryotube and sent all of them back into space. Then I was asked to give the eulogy at Pike's memorial. I couldn't turn it down but I didn't want to do it."

"So when you were done, you ran to me." He nodded. "Jim, why didn't you talk about this sooner? It would have saved you a lot of anger."

He shrugged. "I thought if I did, everyone would think me weak and not want to listen to me anymore."

"It makes you human. There's nothing wrong with being human."

"Tell Spock that. He hates his human side."

"No, he doesn't. He just never really understood human emotions until he lost his mother."

"Are you talking as a counselor or as a telepath?"

"I'm talking as someone who has grown up with no parents. You don't understand human emotions until you experience them. For me it was when the teacher we had in middle school died. Until then I had never known what it was like to lose someone. For you it was when Sam walked out. For Spock it was when his mother died. We all go through different phases where we experience really strong human emotions for the first time. It's what we do with those emotions that make us pass or fail."

Jim sat quietly as it all sank in. He was really happy he had finally talked about all the emotions building up inside him. He still hated psychologists and doctors, but it wasn't so bad with Collin and Bones. They knew of his stubborn streak and how to handle it. Shove him into a corner and let him fight his way out. He always talked when he was cornered. Or drunk.

"That's what got me into this mess," he muttered.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I was drunk. That's what started this whole thing."

"I warned you about your drunken habits. I told you it would be the death of you."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be."

He downed the rest of his coffee and returned the cup to the recycler. "I'm going to my room. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"I hope you do to."

"When are you going to submit your report?"

"When I finish it. Why?"

"I was just wondering when I was going to get my ship back."

"You'll find out in a couple of days. It'll have to go through the board first." Jim nodded. "Good night, Jim."

"Night, Col."

Collin watched him leave her room. Sighing she went back to her desk so she could finish her final report once and for all.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** This is the final chapter. I hope it turns out like everyone wishes.

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Collin sat quietly as she waited for a response. She had sent her report in two days ago. Usually it took a week for them to get back to any of their doctors on matters such as this. It was done intentionally to keep the one on the chopping block on his or her toes.

But doing so wasn't a good idea when it came to one James Tiberius Kirk. Ever since they were kids Jim had always been the one to find out all the secrets anyone had. He had that finesse that made everyone like him. As he grew older, he became bitter but rarely let anyone see it.

She remembered one day in high school she had been walking down the hallway when someone had grabbed her from behind. She had known the guy to be an upperclassman and known he had a nasty reputation. He had known who she was because the next thing she remembered was picking her off the floor. She had had a bloody nose, much like the one Jim had accidently given her.

He went in for a kick to her ribs but Jim was suddenly there. He threw the first punch and was the one who got caught. Mr. Harmon hadn't wanted to hear anything about it when he hauled him into the office, but when she had walked by with one of the other students, it had all been explained. Mr. Harmon had stared at Jim as the teenager watched his best friend being led into the nurse's office.

Jim was the kind of person to watch out for everyone else and let his health go to waste. He would fight to his dying day for the people he cared about. That was why he went into the warp drive to save the people on the ship from disintegrating in Earth's atmosphere. He had allowed himself to be killed to make sure they were all taken care of before him. For once he had listened to Spock's the-good-of-the-many-outweigh-the-good-of-the-one speech.

She had told all of that to the men who were presiding over the case. They had taken her request into thought when she told them Jim didn't need the command while he was suffering. She had been surprised when they told her not to return his command until he had spoken to her. She remembered how angry he was and she never wanted to see that again.

After what seemed like hours, Admiral Burnett came on the line. Like usual, the man looked grim. She understood he was rebuilding everything Khan had destroyed, but the man needed to sleep.

"Commander," he said.

"Admiral," she replied. Formality was never her strong suit but two could play the game if it was needed.

"You have done impeccable work. You have turned in a report of the entire command crew of the _Enterprise_. And it was very detailed. We have learned how to handle people with the experiences this crew has gone through. Being the only ship out of a fleet not to be destroyed and to lose their favorite admiral all in one year has to be hard on everyone."

"You have no idea, sir."

"Regarding Captain Kirk, he is impulsive and arrogant. He doesn't adhere to rules or regulations and he runs his ship as if it were a madhouse."

Collin let her eyes drift close. This was not how she wanted the review over her report.

"With that being said, Kirk runs the best ship in the fleet. He's had the best results and he's made more contact with four different races. That's more than any of the other starships have done. His only flaws are arrogance, his lack of listening skills, and his ability to compartmentalize everything."

She tilted her head at his phrase. "You got that out of my report?" He nodded. "Sir, I don't want to beat around the bush. I have a feeling I'm going to lose my friend for good if I don't have an answer for him when Alpha Shift starts."

Admiral Burnett leaned back in his seat and held her eyes.

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Jim rushed to the turbolift, pausing long enough to excuse himself when he knocked over a crewman. Dressed in his regulation blacks, he was on his way to the bridge. For the last three days he had been concerned with what Collin's report said about all of them, him in particular. It had been his carelessness that had cost him his command but it was going to be the admiralty that decided whether he kept it or not.

When the double doors slid open, everyone turned to look at him. Spock was talking to the replacement science officer that had taken his place on the bridge. Uhura, Scotty and Chekov smiled at him, but those smiles fell when he shook his head. No one liked the waiting game.

A warm hand clasped him on the shoulder. He turned to see his second best friend smiling at him. During all of this, Bones had been a constant even though Jim was angry at the whole world. He really should have just talked to him and not have been so stubborn. Stubbornness is what got him in this mess anyway.

"They still not have given you an answer?" Spock asked.

"No unfortunately. I've gone every day to see Collin since she turned that report in. Every time she has been in discussions with the admirals so she has never been able to answer. I have no idea what's going on in her head. Sometimes life's just not fair," he replied.

"How did she use her power on us anyway?" Sulu asked.

"She says everyone has threads. The threads are like pathways that lead to every little thought and emotion a person has," McCoy replied.

Jim nodded. "She's had that ability since we were kids. I never understood how it worked."

"Did you ask?"

"Don't ask, don't tell policy, Bones."

"That's your fault."

The bickering continued for a whole half hour. Spock got the crew to work even as they talked to their friends. Things were running smoothly when the doors to the turbolift opened. This was the fifth time and everyone had looked up in expectation. Their faces had fallen every time. Now they didn't even look.

"It feels like someone has died in here." Collin's voice resonated throughout the bridge.

Everyone jumped at the same time. Jim was the first one to her. He grabbed her by the arms and led her over to the command chair. Spock understood his meaning and vacated the seat so Jim could push her into it. Collin watched them with an amused expression as they surrounded her and gave her the puppy dog look.

"Well?" Uhura asked.

The other woman looked at her. "Well what?"

"What's going on?"

Collin kept a straight face as she pressed a couple of buttons on the chair. She looked at the communications officer then at the screen. Uhura understand her meaning and went over to her console to bring up the view screen. Admiral Burnett's face appeared on the screen. He looked over everyone assembled.

"Where is Commander Simpson?" he asked. The sea of people parted and the admiral's eyes fell on the seated woman. "You haven't told them?"

"I figured I'd leave it to you to tell them what's been decided," she said.

Burnett frowned but didn't argue. He looked at everyone. "These last couple of weeks has had your crew put in a difficult situation. You have had a new doctor brought on board to evaluate the mental mindset of the crew after the death of Admiral Christopher Pike. Some of you have proven to have your issues but you were able to talk through them. Others have not wanted to talk but did so anyway. One of you never wanted to talk."

He turned his attention to Jim. "Kirk, you are the one who never wanted to talk. Because of that you once again lost your command. Our orders to Commander Simpson were that if you didn't talk you would be remanded back to the academy until you finished your schooling. She did something else. She took your command. How did you feel, Kirk?"

Jim bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to say what he was thinking respectfully. "I was angry. I had worked so hard to be a good captain and then my command was taken from me because of Regulation 619. It was the same regulation that got me the command." He looked at Spock meaningfully.

"It was worse because it was my friend who took the command from me. I wanted to punch her again."

Collin laughed at the admiral's look of shock. "Sir, he accidently punched me when he was having a nightmare."

Burnett shook his head. "Never mind that. We have discussed the report the commander has sent in on you. Kirk, you are arrogant, stubborn, and think you are always right. You believe in no-win scenarios and that can get you and your crew killed." His gaze flicked to Collin. "We have taken everything we have learned from the doctor and made our decision."

The entire bridge held its collective breath as Burnett closed his mouth.

But it wasn't Burnett they needed to be looking at. Collin laced her fingers with Jim's and squeezed gently. Jim closed his eyes, heartbroken. He had lost the command for good because of his stupidity.

Collin rolled her eyes because she knew what the idiot was thinking. She gave a harsh tug on his hand that threw him off balance. He landed unceremoniously in her lap. His legs were thrown over the arm of the chair as his tailbone dug into her thigh. Jim tilted his head to look up at her. When she didn't look down at him, he looked at the view screen.

"That's a way to tell someone they have their job back," Burnett said.

Jim's mouth dropped. "I have my ship back?"

"After much consideration, we think what Admiral Pike said is true. He told us of the challenge he gave you when you first joined. You surpassed your father when you saved the Earth not once but twice. We can't over look that. We give your command back to you on the condition that you talk to Dr. McCoy after every mission."

"Me?" McCoy said. "Sir, what about Dr. Simpson?"

"Dr. Simpson is being transferred to Deep Space Four. She signed off on it this morning. Captain Kirk, keep your head in the game. If you have one more mishap, you will be sent back the academy immediately. Good day."

When Burnett signed off, everyone let out a happy sigh. They had their captain back, but their captain wasn't cheering. He and Collin were staring at each other. Finally Collin got up, dumping the man in the floor.

"Captain!" Uhura exclaimed as she threw her arms around him. "You're back! Now make sure you do as the admirals say."

"I will. Excuse me."

He left the crew on the bridge as he went in search of Collin. He knew where she would be going. He went straight to her quarters and found the door open. She was packing what was left of her belongings in the bag. He walked in and threw his arms around her. She stopped what she was doing and leaned into him.

"Did you trade your job here for my command chair?" he asked.

"No, I didn't. I knew I was being transferred before I even came on. The whole reason I was brought on was to get you to talk. Now that I've done that, I can be on to my next position," she replied.

"When will you leave?"

"They're sending a transport ship for me in a couple of hours. That's what took so long for you to find out that you were getting your command back. We had to hash out details for the transfer because I said I wasn't leaving until I knew this was taken care of."

Jim let her shoulder out of his grasp. He was upset that he was losing his friend once again. Even though he had been mad at her, he had felt Collin's effect on his crew. They had been lighter. It was as if Collin had taken all their negative emotions and used them to figure out how to help them.

"What are you doing?" she asked when he flopped down on her bed.

"Just chilling," he replied.

"Don't you have a ship to run?"

"Spock can handle it for a couple of hours."

Collin laughed at him then finished packing. They spent the next few hours just talking about nothing and everything. It felt like they were kids again growing up in Iowa. They would hang out on each other's beds talking over everything they had learned in school, or that Jim had missed because he was sleeping in class. He always passed though.

After the hours ticked by, Collin got a call from Uhura. The transport ship was there. It was time for her to leave. They looked at each other. Then without a word, Jim grabbed her bag then led the way out of the room. When they were in the corridor, he slipped his arm around her shoulders. They walked together to the turbolift. They were silent as they rode to Shuttle Bay 3. Everyone was there standing outside the shuttle.

"What's going on, guys?" Jim asked.

"We just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done. You made us lose our captain but then you brought him back to us," Uhura said.

"No problem. I'm just doing my job," Collin replied.

"Do you mind if ve give you a hug?" Chekov asked shyly.

She smiled and nodded. They bombarded her, taking her away from Jim. Spock was the only one who didn't touch her as if he knew her. They weren't as close as he was to Jim but that was okay. They shared a nod. McCoy's hug was tight and southern. It was the only thing he knew how to do.

When they were satisfied, she turned back to Jim. He smiled at her and opened his arms. She walked into them like she had always done and he buried her face in his shoulder. He held her tightly as if he may never see her again, and he may never.

"Commander, we need to go," the captain of the shuttle said.

Collin pulled away from Jim and grabbed her bag. She walked away from him, pausing only to look back at the crew she had saved momentarily. When she walked on the shuttle, the doors closed. Jim turned and left the bay so they didn't get hurt when the doors opened.

"What now, Captain?" Spock asked as he handed the man a gold shirt.

Jim thought a minute as he pulled the material over his black sweater. "When we get back on the bridge, Sulu, go to warp factor 3. We're finishing our mission."

Though he couldn't see it, Jim's crew was smiling behind him. He was back and they were going to work hard to make sure he kept his place in that chair.

When the doors opened, they all spilled out and went straight to their stations. Jim smiled as he stood behind the chair. This was his and there want anything that was going to tear him away from his family, especially his stupidity.

Sulu turned from his console.

"Punch it."

END


End file.
